After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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