thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
