do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
