one might say we're banned from that church
he told me I talked like a deaf person
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize