Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
