do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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