People in love make me want to vomit
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
