school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize