She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
