so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
