ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
