i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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