so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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