those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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