it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
