I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
