I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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