hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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