He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think your dad took our porno
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
