Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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