Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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