Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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