if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
