i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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