So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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