That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
They took my balls.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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