that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize