Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
