quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
