Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
