C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
