Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Randomize