I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
is it fun? or sober?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize