then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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