Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
