ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
honey bunches of taint.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
