it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
