physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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