yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
