but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
