So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
