Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize