it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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