If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Maybe he injected his testicle?
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