either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
