I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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