This is not my ceiling
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize