youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
