We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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