Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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