Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she woke up with a sticky ear
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
