just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
