Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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