his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize