On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
