My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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