just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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