Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize