i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i need some magic done to my vagina
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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