I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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