Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
