You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
